Ruben Journey to Life

 I forgive myself that I have accpted and allowed myself to desire to have more than what I have, isntead of being grateful for what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that being grateful for what I have will take me out of the misery of always wanting more I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have fame and be recongnized I forgive myself that I have not accpted and allowed myself to see the peace I have now that I am not famous or reconginzed I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the value of what I have in terms of my physical body and the life I am living I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ungrateful I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have everything I forgive m...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to always win and if I perceive I lose become angry I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe winning is winning, not seeing that it isn't necessarily so, winning is losing also I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that losing doesn't have to be necessarily negative or a disadvantage  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to concern myself with winning and losing I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my wants are not always the best for me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that wether I lose or win it is only a perception of the ego I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I get what I want it will be what I need I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that wanting and desire are but a burden I forgive myself ...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be contented with what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at 'what I don't have' instead of being contented with what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there will always be other things to have/experience but Life is not about being sad about what I don't have but grateful for what I do have I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the trap of desires I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to make do with what I have and if I am not contented with what I have now I will not be contented whith what I have later I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the trap of always wanting more I forgive myself that I have accept...

  I have had to kneel to those that I did wrong to, and also in dreams I've had today, I've had to kneel and ask for fogiveness and say that I have stopped the behavior and will not do it again. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Self-Forgiveness without corrective action is useless I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of kneeling in front/to those that I have harmed I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the shame is in not asking for forgiveness to those that I have wronged I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it is more shameful to not ask for forgiveness than the temporary shame experienced when kneeling to ask for forgiveness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the power within asking for forgiveness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that forgiv...

 Who am I to say that it is a bad day? Well, if something doesn't come out the way I want I can say that it has been 'a bad day' but the problem is, to begin with, in wanting things to come out in a certain way. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things to come out a certain way instead of unconditionally accepting reality I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that it is not about not doing anything to create my reality but in doing to my utmost degree and then accept whatever outcome there is - and keep pushing for change that is best for All I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize fear of change in self interest to keep participating in activities that are pleasurable but not supportive or downright abuse such as watching porn. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I change I will become homeless, in self interest, to not have to stop abusing watching...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming apathic and not write blogs    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear time looping   I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can possibly lose myself   I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough money  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear something going south/bad whenever all seem to go allright I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk what is best I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worthy of stability I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear instability I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being admitted to the mental hospital I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I can walk within stabi...

Only self change can bring world change, but that don't have to stop you from doing rap. It is not what I do but who I am within it. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am is what determines the outcome of my life and not what I do  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that not a particular activity can bring world change such as singing for example, but the collective/group can bring about change I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change the world with doing a specific art form instead of realizing that I have to myself change for outer change to be possible I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to 'save the world' with art I forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I cannot save anything or anyone but myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise an...

 The system is pressuring more and more with the passing of time, it is easy to forget to see each other as Equals and not as competitors. I have friends that are in poverty at this very moment, and also in homelessness. Everyone can fall so let's make a change with Equal Money so everyone is supported. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see everyone as an Equal I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from other human beings by seeing them as competitors instead of equals I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to win at all costs no matter what cost of life the competition entails I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the reality that we are all One and Equal as Life 🧬 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be consumed by consumerism and not see how it is killing millions of people and animals a day I forgive myself that I have accepted and ...

I can ask to you, why are you participating in wars? But then I watch inside of myself and I see that I also participate in wars within my mind and many times comit despicable acts that no one sees. The wars stop within oneself first, as real wars are but the materialization of our mind participation where we are spiteful beyond belief, and commit aggression daily. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for participating in wars instead of seeing my responsibility of stopping all wars and conflict within myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I must end within myself all that I see outside of myself that is not best for all I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the best gift I can gift to everyone else an the world is the best me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to walk the talk in perfecting myself to show everyone = it is possibl...

I've realized that I am able to stand up for myself no matter where I come from, what I've done or where I find myself in this moment. Some will have to stand up from having commited adultery, some will stand up from having commited other crimes, some will stand up from an addiction, it doesn't matter. Looking back it is only lost time, and instead of wallowing in despair because of the Past, I realize the past is passed, it doesn't matter what it is because it is already gone, what matters is this very breath now, and there is nothing I can do that will prevent me from standing up for myself. For example I can decide to stand up for myself in this breath or believe that by commiting any other action I will be exempt from standing up for myself - that is not so - I will Still have to stand up for myself whatever I have done. Stop the trap of thinking/believing that by doing something extravagant I will be exempt, no, I still am responsible to stand up for myself and for...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have back doors I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have other 'ways out' other than walk within principle no matter what I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that 'other ways' that are not Best for All are simply abuse I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will only eat shit if I have back doors I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that standing up is an 'option' I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself in every single breath I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am my own sentencer through what I do  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not enough to stand up for myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that life is conspiring to be free I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am not separate I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am enough I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am One and Equal as Life I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect from others I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the common sense of Oneness and Equality I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am my thoughts I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe we are separate I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself in behaviors such as porn ...

  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oversleep I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into resistance by oversleeping I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that oversleeping will  not solve my problems I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide by oversleeping I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am capable of not oversleeping I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the patterns of my parent by oversleeping I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I will gain some knowledge by dreaming/sleeping I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself by oversleeping I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to sleep more than 5-7 hours a day I forgive myself that I have accepted and al...

  I've been without writing for close to five days, which was not in the plans, I am back. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself not write I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can do the physical act of writing once a day no matter what I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that it is impossible to give up on oneself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it difficult for myself by not writing I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not write I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that unless I stand up for myself no one will I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose faith in myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on writing I ...

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take it easy I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that judging what I do as difficult only makes it difficult and judging it as easy only makes it easy -- yet I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that by not judging I am better prepared to face any challenge or task because in judging it as easy I can underestimate the task - so I should not judge a task I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge things as easy or difficult instead of seeing that it depends on my skill I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to rush things - no rush no pause I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go full speed/full throttle I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I go full throttle the engine will break soon enough I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself ...

  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as fake I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being fake forever I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I fear being fake I will end up being fake I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realise and understand that I am made of the same substance as everyone else I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am worth it I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am equal to G I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am inferior to G I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not different than G I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear G I f...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for watching porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am better than watching porn I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that porn is self abuse I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to control myself I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to breathe whenever I crave porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am the porn craving/craver instead of seeing, realizing and  understanding that it is the mind that wants it I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand all the abuse that goes within the porn industry I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am capable ...

By Eric Pouhier - own work by Eric Pouhier, CC BY-SA 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4211031   I used to think that if I became homeless then I would create such a ruckus that it would make the world change, which is not true and a miscalculation of the mind, because when I am if ever am homeless, then it is = too late. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I become homeless I will change the world in one go I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can change the world being homeless - which is not true I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am effective while I am stable in my life with a roof over my head and walking my process I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put excuses to not stand up unconditionally such as this one of thinking and believing that if I become homeless I will change the world I forgiv...

  I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to not be here as breath in every moment of breath I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am alone I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my father is always with me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can seize the opportunity to stand up in every moment of breath I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can stop myself from falling I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that 'falling' is an excuse to not stand up/ postpone standing up I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself when I fall instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that all fall is Self-fall I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am responsible for All I do and say I forgive myself that I have...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect feedback from my process of change instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it takes time I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have patience with myself in the 7 year Journey to Life I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect everything around me to change when I change instead of seeing that I am the one that has to affect change/act differently if I want something to change I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the common sense that I need to do something different or something at all to make change happen  I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the common sense of 'if I do what I have always done I will get the same result' I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to change when I change I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the...

  Changing my starting point of participation in this world, from wanting to have as many 'pleasurable' experiences as I can to instead utilize my participation to grow, expand and change, utilizing my experience to discover myself, purify myself as I correct my mind and my living to what is Best for All I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in life with the starting point of consumerism 'feel good' - wanting to accumulate good experiences instead of principled living I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with hedonism and self interest I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with addictions I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to timeloop in my addictions such as porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the gravity of the situation where every day I don't stand up for myself is a day ...

Already going - and we are on day 2 - already going into Ego. Superiority. Bullshit.  The whole point of the process to Life is to become One and Equal - Oneness and Equality on Earth. Second day, becoming confident and cocky, instead of seeing, realising and understanding that I have to be alert, watchful as nothing is guaranteed in this world and maybe - maybe - I will not get to live long enough to make it in this life. But I will leave this blogs, and writings, and interviews/vlogs. Confidence is not bad but feeling superior to others is, more than 'bad' is that is Separation. If I believe I am better I am saying that the other person is Less - and this is simply not true. A being that crossed over and lived a point that he died without transcending, and then shared it on EQAFE.com as a Life review, I take my hat off for him/her. But in my great 'becoming' I saw myself as superior, big mistake. We are all One and Equal as Life as who we really are in Oneness and Equ...