Day 18: Downturn


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming apathic and not write blogs   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear time looping  


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can possibly lose myself  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough money 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear something going south/bad whenever all seem to go allright

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk what is best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worthy of stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear instability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being admitted to the mental hospital

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I can walk within stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need instability in my life in order to be stable later

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I deserve stability as well as any other person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I don't need the mental hospital

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am instable by nature

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to pay my debt

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough  money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that things will take a downturn whenever mostly everything is going well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that fear is not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand things will seem to go wrong whenever I start to break free from the programming that enslave me - but that doesn't mean anything is going 'bad' at all - only that the mind is losing its grip on me for the first time

I forgive myself that I have acceped and allowed myself to not see that I am used to give my power away to the systems through addictions and that when I stop them it will seem weird for a while/can seem weird for a while

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that win and lose are of the mind, while in reality there is only consequence, consequence that is best and consequence that is not best

I commit myself to keep writing one blog a day for seven years at least

I commit myself to remind myself that I don't have to fear change

I commit myself to remind myself that I have to be practical and keep doing what works

I commit myself to remind myself to trust myself

I commit myself to remind myself that who I am can't be lost or damaged

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