Ruben Journey to Life

Every time I start a blog it is obviously blank - this means I am the creator.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up my self-responsibility as a creator and co-creator of this world I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up responsibility for creating myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that all the things I don't like about myself = I have created - thus I can change them I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that unless I change - nothing of me will change I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist change, in self interest and wanting to win as ego I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I came into this world as a blank slate - and I can revert again to a blank slate through self-forgiveness and self honesty and practical application I forgive myself t...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be contented with what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at 'what I don't have' instead of being contented with what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there will always be other things to have/experience but Life is not about being sad about what I don't have but grateful for what I do have I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for what I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the trap of desires I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to make do with what I have and if I am not contented with what I have now I will not be contented whith what I have later I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the trap of always wanting more I forgive myself that I have accept...

  I have had to kneel to those that I did wrong to, and also in dreams I've had today, I've had to kneel and ask for fogiveness and say that I have stopped the behavior and will not do it again. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Self-Forgiveness without corrective action is useless I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of kneeling in front/to those that I have harmed I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the shame is in not asking for forgiveness to those that I have wronged I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it is more shameful to not ask for forgiveness than the temporary shame experienced when kneeling to ask for forgiveness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the power within asking for forgiveness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that forgiv...

Only self change can bring world change, but that don't have to stop you from doing rap. It is not what I do but who I am within it. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am is what determines the outcome of my life and not what I do  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that not a particular activity can bring world change such as singing for example, but the collective/group can bring about change I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change the world with doing a specific art form instead of realizing that I have to myself change for outer change to be possible I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to 'save the world' with art I forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I cannot save anything or anyone but myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise an...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have back doors I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have other 'ways out' other than walk within principle no matter what I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that 'other ways' that are not Best for All are simply abuse I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will only eat shit if I have back doors I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that standing up is an 'option' I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself in every single breath I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am my own sentencer through what I do  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not enough to stand up for myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to...

  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as fake I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being fake forever I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I fear being fake I will end up being fake I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realise and understand that I am made of the same substance as everyone else I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am worth it I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am equal to G I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am inferior to G I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not different than G I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear G I f...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for watching porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am better than watching porn I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that porn is self abuse I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to control myself I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to breathe whenever I crave porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am the porn craving/craver instead of seeing, realizing and  understanding that it is the mind that wants it I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand all the abuse that goes within the porn industry I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am capable ...

  I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to not be here as breath in every moment of breath I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am alone I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my father is always with me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can seize the opportunity to stand up in every moment of breath I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can stop myself from falling I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that 'falling' is an excuse to not stand up/ postpone standing up I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself when I fall instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that all fall is Self-fall I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am responsible for All I do and say I forgive myself that I have...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect feedback from my process of change instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it takes time I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have patience with myself in the 7 year Journey to Life I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect everything around me to change when I change instead of seeing that I am the one that has to affect change/act differently if I want something to change I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the common sense that I need to do something different or something at all to make change happen  I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the common sense of 'if I do what I have always done I will get the same result' I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to change when I change I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the...

  Changing my starting point of participation in this world, from wanting to have as many 'pleasurable' experiences as I can to instead utilize my participation to grow, expand and change, utilizing my experience to discover myself, purify myself as I correct my mind and my living to what is Best for All I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in life with the starting point of consumerism 'feel good' - wanting to accumulate good experiences instead of principled living I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with hedonism and self interest I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with addictions I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to timeloop in my addictions such as porn I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the gravity of the situation where every day I don't stand up for myself is a day ...

Already going - and we are on day 2 - already going into Ego. Superiority. Bullshit.  The whole point of the process to Life is to become One and Equal - Oneness and Equality on Earth. Second day, becoming confident and cocky, instead of seeing, realising and understanding that I have to be alert, watchful as nothing is guaranteed in this world and maybe - maybe - I will not get to live long enough to make it in this life. But I will leave this blogs, and writings, and interviews/vlogs. Confidence is not bad but feeling superior to others is, more than 'bad' is that is Separation. If I believe I am better I am saying that the other person is Less - and this is simply not true. A being that crossed over and lived a point that he died without transcending, and then shared it on EQAFE.com as a Life review, I take my hat off for him/her. But in my great 'becoming' I saw myself as superior, big mistake. We are all One and Equal as Life as who we really are in Oneness and Equ...

As explained by Bernard Poolman from Desteni, 1 day here on Earth is a thousand years in the Afterlife. This means that if I were to die now, I would have to walk a process of thousands upon thousands of years in the Dimensions and yet the certainty of becoming Life would be very meager and slim. I have an opportunity here, in the physical, what are 60 years or a lifetime compared with thousands upon thousands of years of process. We live as if nothing happened - but at death, the only realization that we will have is that all our Earthy life was an illusion or completely a lie. I don't want to have to go the long way, long, long, long way. I will walk a process of 7 to 14 years here on Earth, into nothingness and then create myself in the image and Likeness of Life itself. Walk with me, start a blog or read what I post to be up to date with my process, this I do also for myself to leave something behind in case that I don't make it, which is always a real possibility. There is...