Day 20: Kneel When Necessary


 

I have had to kneel to those that I did wrong to, and also in dreams I've had today, I've had to kneel and ask for fogiveness and say that I have stopped the behavior and will not do it again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Self-Forgiveness without corrective action is useless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of kneeling in front/to those that I have harmed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the shame is in not asking for forgiveness to those that I have wronged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it is more shameful to not ask for forgiveness than the temporary shame experienced when kneeling to ask for forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the power within asking for forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that forgiveness is all about self-forgiveness but that doesn't mean one cannot ask for forgiveness too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all other humans and life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse all other beings in existence directly or indirectly in my participation on Earth in abuse and self abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand the importance of self-forgiveness and letting go of the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that any resistence to self forgiveness is ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how my life is dependant on the work of many other human beings and not be grateful within this realization

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that wether I am forgiven or not is not the point as long as I forgive myself too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self-forgiveness as lip service to show how I am changing instead of doing it for real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give self-forgiveness for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall innumerable times for addictions of varied nature

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear commitment in stopping all addictions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that no one blames me for anything and I have to set myself free

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inadequate to stand up for Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to do something extravagant that I can't forgive myself for instead of seeing realizing and understanding that that is simply an excuse to not have to change and set myself free from consciousness enslavement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that events in my life I don't have to judge as everything is specific to my own process so it is of no use to think that another chain of events would have been better than the one I think is best - as maybe it is not so



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