Day 91: Heartbeat
The guy from the ambulance said I have a strong heart. I tried to 'commit suicide' by tensing really hard my upper body, it didn't work, I was upset that no one was kind on that train I was on, only old hags and a stupid youngster. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape this reality I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a heart attack and die I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must be here with all others to solve this mess I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can escape this reality by dying I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be man enough until now to stand up for myself effectively I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot change this reality I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I a...