Ruben Journey to Life

 A dream. I was with a relative playing a kind of golf game. I had betted everything I own. It was my turn to shoot. It was an easy shot, but I didn't feel confident on taking it - so I let my relative shoot it. He completely missed the shot. What I understand from this dream is, in life we bet everything - because at end we die - so it is best to trust myself and shoot my shots, never let anyone do it for me. Hit or miss, I will shoot my shots. If I don't do it I will forever wonder 'what if'. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to decide for me.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that even if I miss it's best to trust myself and take action. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on my decisions I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be flaky in my decisions I forgive m...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am trapped I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am trapping myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can be trapped I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am trapped by my own beliefs I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my own beliefs I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am a convict of my own convictions I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am free I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my only freedom is to choose what is Best for All every time I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that none is free until All are free I forgive myself that I have accepted a...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be famous I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only by being famous others will listen to me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be heard by everyone else I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire attention I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am fine without anyones attention I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that if I am fine by myself alone then I don't need anyones' attention I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be recognized I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  not recognize myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon myself I forgive myself that I have accep...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am alone I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am never alone I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to take shortcuts I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is difficult to stand up for myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to practically change myself and not try to change the world I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need masturbation I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I don't direct myself I will live out a preprogrammed life I forgive myself that I have accepted a...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am separate I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find boring writing I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am done I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard all other life I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go first before others I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I see I can't unsee I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear responsibility I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be done I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make process instead of simply doing my best always I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe process is too difficult I forgive myself that I have acce...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I won't see all that  is possible unless I become self honest I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply self forgiveness consistently I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worthy of self forgiveness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to be 'more fucked up' before I can forgive myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can apply self forgiveness wherever I am I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to romanticize death I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe death is a relief I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see possible that I become self honest and self directive I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowe...