Day 50: Find Out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I won't see all that  is possible unless I become self honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply self forgiveness consistently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not worthy of self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to be 'more fucked up' before I can forgive myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can apply self forgiveness wherever I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to romanticize death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe death is a relief

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see possible that I become self honest and self directive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to become special

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can become self honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I don't have a solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as evil

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at other's hardships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that unless I walk my process I won't see what is possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to go past the point of giving up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is something better waiting for me in the here after - while having indicators to the contrary

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I've had enough I have to change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that where I am is the best place to change myself