Day 108: Ruben or Daniel

 

7:11 in front of Seven Eleven in Vejle. I gave my pack of cigarettes to an unkempt young guy looking at the ashtrays in front of the train station; I've been there. He was drinking and doing strange stretches with his arms, completely absorbed on himself with the hoodie on.

He must have ran out of money with the alcohol, I was never a fan of this drug but I understand why people do - to forget, to make things endurable - while it makes things compound instead.

I have a few coins on me but I know not to give money after many times I've ran out doing exactly that.

This month I am helping a colleague from work that lost it all gambling. Last time I do it and not the last time that he will gamble - it's strong on him.

I never gambled more than one or two hundred euros total but I took drugs instead. It looks like everyone is trying to avoid this reality in their own way.

My hunger for drugs was having experiences, being more experienced in life, and possibly changing my life that I didn't like.

Being a waiter in Spain is rewarding up to a point, while I was grateful to serve people that were in their free time having a good time, I myself also wanted my own good time, and I did a plethora of different drugs, always showing up on time the day after.

Yesterday my mother told me that she decided my name, Ruben, when I was born and that Daniel was the name I had up until that point - even written on my hospital craddle - but because it sounded similar to my brother Gabriel, she changed it last minute. She told me she named all of us three, with Júlia being the youngest.

Knowing at 34 that my mother had had an abortion at 17 is shocking in a way - how things can be kept and one does not know about it until the person reveals it.

Exactly like the Equal Money System. No one came up with it until Bernard Poolman did, and one need not be envious but simply grateful he did.

You can read and listen to all the intricacies at EQAFE.com, it is brilliant.

Know that if you have a roof over your head and money in your pocket you are part of the elite of this world and in fact support the evil system that exists in this world as it is now.

Don't you see? We are walking zombies, consuming machines that destroy Earth at a fast pace.

Competing at any cost - destroying at a high rate, while billions suffer untold pain and misery, starvation and everything else that comes with not having money.

Have you tried not having money? When no one helps? Imagine it all your life.

We have systems of support like healthcare and so on, education, many countries simply don't have or it is only, again, if you have money in your pocket.

I am bipolar and have needed medical attention/detention many times - I go to the psych ward. I am grateful that I live in a country, Denmark where I have access for it for the virtue that I pay taxes, otherwise it woukd be difficult, but since I have worked here for around 3 years I get to have it.

What about you? Since you have internet I assume you are elite too. Let's unite in purpose.

I am free from drugs now, taking it one day at a time. Now I received a sketchy message 'active' on my cell phone. I think it might be a dealer but I won't ask.

What is preventing you - what do you like so much that you will let the world burn. Decide instead to let go and join us at Desteni.org