Day 33: Stop External Expectations


 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the outside to change instead of me changing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the external has to mirror the internal change immediately

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that maybe Nothing will change as I change myself, as I have to direct change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become discouraged whenever nothing changes on the outside when I work towards changing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the outer need a teacher in order to change and won't change spontaneusly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I myself also had a teacher in Desteni, Bernard Poolman, the Portal, all the material and the Desteni group

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to become a teacher of everyone that can listen, so that they may change with us

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the power and strength is in the group and never on the individual

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if it were not for the group effort I would not be where I am now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can claim specialness when in fact I am the product of the group effort and have to give all the credit back to the group of Desteni

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that united we stand and divided we fall

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose the point of the 7 year journey to life, where it is to arrive at the point of nothingness and 're-construct the patterns  that constitute our reality through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am not alone in walking this process - as everyone in existence is pushing for this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that any point that 'changes me' from the outside is not valid, as change has to come from self-movement, self initiative.

I commit myself to remind myself to walk my process and not concern myself with the change of others

I commit myself to remind myself that all change has to come from oneself so there is no way to coerce others to change

I commit myself to remind myself that the outer will not change until I become a teacher that show the way along with the Desteni group individuals






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