Day 32: Specialness Go Away



 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to claim I am special by not eating sugar

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to claim I am special for not going into addictions like cigarettes and porn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that what should be strange would be a porn addicition, not not watching porn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim I am different or special by not having addictions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that not having addicitons is the normal way to be, not addicted to everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that not having any addicion makes me special instead of seeing that I am merely being an example

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that being an example doesn't mean to be special, only an example

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being an example to specialness, when it is not special in fact as it should be how everyone is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that being an example in the beggining I might be more alone but with time more and more people join in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that nothing that is normal as addicitons in this world is how things should be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see ,realise and understand that it is fine not having addictions, just don't make anything special

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being addiction-free special instead of seeing, realising and understanding that that is the normal way to be in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting back to any addicition if I do it just to fuck with specialness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear addictions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear addictions can control me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am stronger than addictions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that stopping addictions make me special - even if it is uncommon  - it will eventually be the way of being

I commit myself to remind myself I am not special for stopping addictions

I commit myself to remind myself to want to do things for others to see, instead of not doing them for myself

I commit myself to concern myself about me and not what others say

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